


Can I Stand in Your Light, Just For a While?

by sittelle



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Nondescript mental illness, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Slow Burn, Vulnerability, art class, dave has BPD, idk yet, it will be lighter than it sounds, kind of, like its there but that isnt the point, maladaptive daydreaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 16:48:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16769041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sittelle/pseuds/sittelle
Summary: he captivated you, you had loved him so fiercely. and yet he was so blissfully unaware.





	Can I Stand in Your Light, Just For a While?

**Author's Note:**

> i dont really know where this is going i just have a very vague outline and a dream. this is also very self indulgent.  
> i apologize in advance.  
> thanks for readin pals.

Of course you loved him. How could you not. 

He was your closest friend, that's all you thought he was for quite some time. You don't remember when that changed, but it certainly had changed. Not that you'd do anything about it. You knew he wasn't going to reciprocate your feelings, why ruin what you had with him by telling him?

Karkat did not need to know, bottom line. Hell, you wished _you_ hadn't known. Life was so much easier when you were ignorant. You can recall the moment you realized you were absolutely head over heels for him. Flashback to the beginning of junior year, second period visual arts 2. You had been in school for 3 weeks and the excitement of the new year had officially worn off, as did everyone's need to be on their best behaviors in front of the teachers. Everyone in your class had been together the year before in the same classroom for visual arts 1 so everyone was already well acquainted, thus shenanigans were well afoot. It all started when jade had gotten paint on your arm, so you flung a bit back at her, unknowingly getting a bit on Karkat as well. This devolved into jade leaving the two of you to have your own little paint war, covering each other with various hues of color. Of course, your teacher wasn't exactly the most keen on these goings on, but she did have a sense of humor, so you were both only sent to the bathroom to wash up. Then, all hell broke loose in your big dumb hormonal teen brain. 

The scene was a brief breach of his usual demeanor. There he was, laughing in this light stifled way that made your heart race. His summer tan cheeks were tinted pink, flecks of color decorating his skin in tiny droplets. His arms were lined with streaks of light hues, and you didn't know why but the contrast was absolutely breathtaking. He himself was leaning against a sink counter, facing you, some remarks about your douchery finally infecting him spewing from his mouth. You weren't paying attention to his words. You were caught up in this whirlwind of _him_ and you honestly didn't know how to react. And that wasn't even the worst of it. His gaze fixed on your face briefly, mirth dancing in his eyes as he scanned your appearance. 

"You look like an utter fucking jackass right now, Strider."

The slight laughter in his rough voice, the expression on his face as he flopped a lock of red paint coated blond hair into your face, the light skim of his finger brushing against the bridge of your nose, making your cheeks heat up inexplicably. The exact moment you knew you had it bad, and you had for a _long_ time. 

You rolled your eyes and huffed, immediately going to the sink next to the one he was leaning against and taking your shades off to rinse your face off. You had never spoken of this revelation until much later, in fact you had only told Rose when she guessed one night the following December. After that of course Dirk and Roxy guessed it, but the information had never left the Strilonde household. Not that you didn't trust them, you just didn't need word spreading further than it already had. The more people knew, the greater the possibility of Karkat finding out.

So, you had been dealing with an agonizing unrequited crush for a bit over a year. No biggie. You wish you could say it’s been easy to deal with but it really hadn’t been, in all actuality you just about lost your cool almost every time you talked to him. 

Not that it mattered really, he wouldn’t feel the same. Last time you checked he was still hung up over Terezi. You hadn’t checked in a while, but you can assume since there have been no updates that nothing has changed. 

So there you were. Back in your studio art classroom with him by your side. Today’s lesson? Painting figures. The model? Going along with your streak of bad luck, it had to be him. Of course.

This wasn’t gonna be fun. 


End file.
